The Pause Door
“We do not
learn by experience,
but by our
capacity for experience.”
The power of automatic habit is immense, and becomes strengthened constantly unless a counter “effort” is exerted. I use quotation marks because this certain kind of effort, the effort required to transcend habit energy, is so subtle and paradoxical in nature. I’ve written previously about the notion of two doors being available to you in any moment: the Habit Door and the Authenticity Door. The Habit Door is running autopilot programming based on the past while the Authenticity Door enables you to be the person you most deeply are and want to be. The choice seems obvious, but the issue is that the Authenticity Door tends to require some level of vulnerability, and the Habit Door requires no effort to open. So, in between these, there may be a third door that enables movement into options of authenticity and presence: the Pause Door. The Pause Door has no good or bad, no right or wrong, but just a slowing and zooming out that enables a broader view of what is actually happening Only Right Now, leading to new choices for action in this moment that would have otherwise been invisible due to the blinding speed of habit energy.
A visual may help describe this dynamic:
Your wrist has a string tightly tied around it.
The other end of the string is tied to the Habit Door,
this door that has been created through
the experiences of your life
and helped you adapt in many ways
but also severely limited
your true experience of the present,
and limited your capacity to
truly feel like Yourself.
Any time you move,
the swaying movement of your arm
automatically opens
the Habit Door.
And even if you try to change this,
more vigorous movement,
faster swaying of the arm,
will only keep opening
the Habit Door
more vigorously.
The only way to stop,
is to notice the string,
slowly allow it to unwind
and gently drop
from your wrist to the floor.
Then look up and see
what is here,
truly only Now in front of you.
Inevitably,
the string will re-attach.
It has been here to help you,
but there is a deeper You
that never needed the string.
In any moment,
you have the chance
to look down and notice the string,
to Pause,
allow it to slip off your wrist,
and look up to see
what is New, Now.
So this Pause Door may be a necessary intermediate step to unlock innumerable other doors that are available to you Now if you can only slow down and zoom out to see and feel them. A helpful practice in doing this may be to simply connect to the breath when you notice the Habit Door taking over (that mere noticing is in itself a powerful step), to breathe out fully and feel the string of habit loosening off of your wrist, and to breathe in and feel all of the doors of this pure moment opening to you. Then simply look up and see what is… seeing may be all you even end up doing.
Opening the
Pause Door
enables an increased
capacity for
Experience
in this moment.
***On a final note, I’ve added an option at the end of these blog posts for you to make a small contribution if you’d like. Please only do so if you feel moved to, and know that your donation goes directly toward helping me continue to provide affordable individual guidance as well as create new content, such as this blog, in the name of increased well-being and reduced psychological suffering. One particular project I’m currently working on is a book that encapsulates my psychological, philosophical, and spiritual perspective on getting to know oneself deeply and getting out of one’s own way. If you’re so inclined, your contribution would support these efforts and would be greatly appreciated (click the button below to donate). Thank you for being here!