Inner & Outer Criticism
I was recently interviewed on Justin Francisco’s Mindful Impact podcast (you can find the episode here).
I noticed a slight nervousness in listening to it once it had been posted, wondering how I would sound and come across, how many times I might’ve said “like,” and other self-conscious thoughts. I rarely listen to the content I record for this reason. While I am confident in my work and the message behind it, I opt to sidestep the inner critic that will inevitably rear its head when I pay close attention to myself, especially with regard to something being offered to the public and asking implicitly for judgment from the listener or reader (i.e., you, hah) as worthwhile or not, interesting or banal, good or bad, or maybe worst of all, “meh.”
Trepidation notwithstanding, I went for a long walk and listened to the whole interview. About a month had passed since the recording, so I had forgotten the details of what we discussed and was essentially listening with fresh ears. Two things of note occurred: 1) it was interesting to notice that a central theme of the conversation was judgment of selves and others, and the physical feeling of weight associated with judgment versus the freeing levity of releasing it; and 2) I felt rather proud of myself.
Even in mentioning the feeling of pride now, the inner critic arises and communicates something along the lines of “bad boy.” But I am proud, and it feels good to share that with you. There were several occasions in which the me listening would have felt stumped if asked such questions, but the me interviewing responded calmly and clearly, and I thought, “impressive!” So this is me now celebrating something I’ve done and maybe encouraging you to unabashedly celebrate yourself.
In a world where judgment and criticism are so deeply ingrained and constantly reinforced, we have the opportunity to choose if we want to give in to feeding this hungry beast or to practice letting go of judging others and ourselves (including letting go of self-judgment when we notice ourselves automatically judging others). And, upon self-investigation, it strikes me that much of the judgment pointed outward finds its source in an inner criticism or feeling of lack, so that inner place might be the real crux of the whole thing. In the interview, I share about a personal experience of judging someone else and how it ultimately related back to my own insecurity. So, if you have the time, I’d love for you to take a listen (and to give Justin some slack for struggling with my last name at first, haha - it's understandably hard to pronounce).
Again, here’s the link
I think you
are worthy
of being celebrated
not only for
the things you’ve done,
but simply
for being a person.
It is not easy!
***On a final note, I’ve added an option at the end of these blog posts for you to make a small contribution if you’d like. Please only do so if you feel moved to, and know that your donation goes directly toward helping me continue to provide affordable individual guidance as well as create new content, such as this blog, in the name of increased well-being and reduced psychological suffering. One particular project I’m currently working on is a book that encapsulates my psychological, philosophical, and spiritual perspective on getting to know oneself deeply and getting out of one’s own way. If you’re so inclined, your contribution would support these efforts and would be greatly appreciated (click the button below to donate). Thank you for being here!