What is the Second Arrow?

The circular symbol in the upper left corner of this website (and sprinkled throughout) refers to the concept of “The Second Arrow.” Here’s a description of what it means to me:

Life inevitably includes pain and discomfort, but one’s relationship with their pain is what will inform the amount that they mentally suffer because of it. The metaphor of the second arrow, attributed to the historical Buddha, is a helpful tool to remember in the moment when you feel yourself becoming reactive. The first arrow you are hit with is whatever has objectively happened in the moment, and the second arrow is your reaction to what has happened. An example would be getting cut off in traffic (first arrow), becoming angry (second arrow), and then displacing your anger on to an unsuspecting loved one (second arrow continued), who may have their own second arrow response to your displaced anger (which has become their first arrow), resulting in a continued vicious circle of emotional reactivity, pain, dissatisfaction, and frustration.

Through the practice of simple awareness (the practice of becoming highly attuned to just what is happening in this moment in detail), we can develop more of an ability to decide whether or not we want to shoot the second arrow in the moment, and develop more insight into where our second arrow reactions are really coming from (are we really angry at the person who cut us off in traffic or is it pulling on something deeper?). Through the development of this awareness (e.g., through meditation and mindfulness practice) we may gradually even let go of the need to shoot the second arrow completely. That being said, there may be situations when you ultimately want to shoot the second arrow, to “react,” and that’s okay, but we can develop the ability to do so with a clear and fully conscious mind.

A helpful equation to remember: Stimulus + Response = Experience
Daily life is made up of an innumerable series of stimuli (all the little things that simply happen - the first arrow) that are combined with your responses to them (the second arrow), and this combination creates your experience, the quality of your entire life. Become more and more aware of your response to the stimuli of life and consequently live the way you really deeply want to live.

In any moment you can remember: “Ah, this is the second arrow.” Then just reset and come back to only what is happening right now. ***Important note: there’s no need to judge yourself when you notice a reaction… this is just your past conditioning… just notice and reset, and develop a new conditioning.

My now wife and I got married yesterday and sealed it with matching Second Arrow tattoos to remind ourselves of this life principle (and of our love for each other).