Charles Freligh | Second Arrow Well-Being

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What is Spirituality?

What does it mean to be “spiritual”? Here’s my attempt at a personal definition through metaphor (I love a good metaphor as you may have noticed):

Imagine yourself and your life as being like a boat at sea, set out immediately at the point of birth into a vast ocean, making its way through all types of weather. As you develop and grow older, you’re given maps, instructions, trainings, etc., on the right way to sail, the direction to sail in, and the appropriate methods of adorning and styling your boat. These instructions and maps provide a sense of stability and comfort amidst this incomprehensibly vast ocean. However, there may be a part of you that questions the authority of these instructions and wonders, “is this right for me?”… “is this who I really am?” To me, this is where the concept of “spirituality” comes into play.

To be spiritual, from my perspective, is to “take the backward step,” to look very closely at your boat and to deeply investigate if the maps, guidelines, and rules you are operating by feel “True” to you - this Truth being a felt sense that cannot be found elsewhere. No prescription, advice, book, or teaching can reveal this Truth, and thus it is inherently insecure; the answer comes from you alone. I’m reminded of the historical Buddha’s guidance to “be a light unto yourself.

Spiritual practice can be thought of as attuning oneself to this personal Truth (e.g., through a meditation practice or really through any means of cultivating self-awareness), gaining an increasingly clarified bodily sense of what feels “True” and what feels “false,” and then working to match up one’s daily choices and actions with this clarified felt sense. This is like removing all unnecessary weight from the boat, calibrating to the direction the deepest part of you wants to sail in, and then making little course corrections throughout the day every day (i.e., “spiritual discipline”) oriented in that True direction.
Practical Tip: I’ve found that having an enjoyable morning routine is incredibly helpful as a major course correction to begin the day - then all subsequent corrections become much easier… just slight touches of the wheel here and there.

So, there’s one element of spirituality: looking closely at your boat, investigating how True its path feels, and making course corrections to align with this Trueness (or celebrating and feeling gratitude for the fact that the path you’re on does feel aligned).

A final essential element of being “spiritual,” from my perspective, is feeling into a basic connection with something beyond the boat, not separate from the boat but inclusive of it and inclusive of Everything. You could think of this as like the ocean. Here you are as one tiny little boat making your way to who knows where, and you might feel pretty small, insignificant, and maybe afraid when you contemplate the entire ocean. But what if you are one unique manifestation of the entire unending sea? What if your sense of Trueness to yourself allows the entire cosmic play to show itself for a brief moment in the way that only you can? Words begin to break down when attempting to describe this simultaneous identification with self-and-Everything, so I will leave you with a drawing below and this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh to finish this message:

“Enlightenment
is when a wave realizes
it is the ocean.”

PS: It’s also a reassuring to know that there are other boats out there making the same journey and asking the same questions. It’s nice to notice a few other lights out in the ocean… see you out there.