Charles Freligh | Second Arrow Well-Being

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Words Are Not Real

I believe there is a basic problem with the use of language; a problem that can become an obstacle to our enjoyment of life. These words that I’m using to communicate to you right now, I think, comprise a major element of psychological suffering. Here’s why:

While words and concepts are incredibly useful tools for learning and for communication, they are just that: tools. Words are symbols, representations of a meaning that exists beyond the symbolic words themselves (e.g., the same wordless meaning is represented with different symbols in different languages). The danger arises when words begin to become mistaken for the reality they represent. When this happens, we get locked into a conceptual world – a virtual reality of symbols that are never ultimately satisfying because they are made up to begin with.

For example, the word “tree” represents something that you are familiar with. You might think of what a tree looks like in your mind right now. However, in the most real sense, the word “tree” (t-r-e-e) is merely a combination of squiggly lines appearing in front of your eyes. If you were to hear the word “tree,” it would be simply a sound (“tree” “tree” “tree”), merely a noise hitting your eardrums. Words are ultimately “real” only in their sound and shape.

So they’re symbols, what’s the problem with that? Ah, glad you asked. The problem occurs when the use of these symbols becomes so automatic that it blocks your ability to actually experience the beauty and incomprehensible miracle of the thing the word “tree” represents (or “flower”, or “sky,” or “mom,” or “dad,” or anything and everything for that matter).

Whatever you’re thinking of or looking at right now, you might consider the name you use for that thing, and then think of the thing itself beyond that word. Look at anything in your field of vision, think of the word you use for that thing, and then see if you can let go of the word and just experience the thing without a name. This also goes for you and me as people. The word “Charles” (my name) is a concept, and I can get lost in the concept, the story of who I am, and that concept totally limits the possibilities of who I can be - and the same goes for my experience of others. My mental concept of “Lindsay” (my awesome “wife”) limits my ability to experience and be open to all of who and what she is in the present moment.

The problem I’m describing is like mistaking a map for the territory it’s used to represent, like walking through the most devastatingly beautiful landscape you can imagine while staring at the GPS map on your phone the whole time as if you are really experiencing that landscape.

If you’ve taken one of my courses on Insight Timer, you might have realized that I mention this concept often. I really don’t think it can be overstated because it’s one of those things that may be too close, too deeply ingrained, for us get it in a meaningful way. We may understand it intellectually, but to feel it is something different. The deep feeling of it, in my experience, comprises some of the most beautiful moments of my life, the moments where words, structure, and making sense of things, move aside like a curtain being drawn to reveal what I sometimes refer to as the “Holy-Shitness!” of simply being alive.

Again, words and concepts are incredibly useful to help us navigate and make some sense of the vast mystery of life, but they’re also very limiting if we rely on them as the Ultimate Reality. So, we can strike a balance and keep in mind that our words and concepts are tools for communication. By remembering this, we can go for a walk and encounter a tree, for example, as if it were the first time we ever saw one, because it really is the first time we’re seeing this tree in this way in this very moment. I get caught up in a word-filled existence often, so I’ll be taking my own advice today.

How might you be able to experience nature, food, other people, yourself, in a less symbolic and more direct way today?

The drawing is itself also a symbol, but maybe different from the word?
How is it different?


*I’d love to hear your perspective & start a conversation in the comments