Firstly, I started writing here because I had the urge to contact you for no other reason than, simply, to make contact. I’ll share a message, but I don’t know what the message is yet. Well I suppose the message could be just that: sometimes we want to make contact with others simply for the sake of connecting. Then we look for some justification as to why we’re making contact.

I want to tell you something.
I want to ask you something.
I want to show you a picture of something.
I want to share with you something I’ve done or am going to do.
I want to talk about current events or the weather.

Sometimes (maybe most times?) these justifications are ultimately secondary to the primary simple desire to feel connected. Do you feel this? It might be an interesting exercise to notice the next time you have an urge to share something or ask something and, before you do, slow down on the urge, feel the urge, and see if what you’re really looking for is just to feel connected with this person (or maybe to feel connected generally).

If you notice that your main motivation is simply the feeling of connection, you could vulnerably state that. Maybe something like, “Hi, I just noticed I wanted to connect with you,” or “I was just thinking of you and wanted to say hi.” Then you can see how they respond.

Weird? Maybe. But also honest. Authentic. Vulnerable, because you don’t have an intermediary object of connection. A pure statement of unadorned truth - a rare thing!

So this is me saying I just had the urge to connect with you. And I wish I could see your face reading these words, but maybe in a way I can (and you can see mine). I hope you’re doing well in this moment.

Thank you for your important role in my life.

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