Is it a rare thing to go an entire day, from the moment you arise in the morning to the moment you fall asleep in the evening, without being bothered once?

I’m referring here to micro occurrences and inconveniences within the happenings of the day, a spilled cup of coffee, a missed green light due to a distracted driver, a stubbed toe, a drop of bird poop on your just-washed car, rather than the larger macro injustices and atrocities of society.

This question came to mind while in the shower the other day, where many pondering thoughts are given space to enter consciousness’ center stage. Earlier that day, I noticed myself feeling judgmental toward some people talking in a volume that seemed to me unnecessarily loud, so that my choice was either to change locations or hear every word of their conversation, which I also judged as being superficial and uninteresting (about the weather and politics - “small talk”).

Later, in the shower, I was struck by my judgment and a bit disappointed with myself. Why judge these people? A) Why do I care what they’re talking about? B) I could have changed locations if I wanted to. C) Good for them for enjoying each other’s company. And D) Who am I to evaluate the quality of their conversation? These minor annoyances only add weight to me, they are self-inflicted punishment. And by totally dropping being bothered, I am freeing myself to enjoy this moment - the only one I will ever have.

Since this shower thought, I’ve been monitoring to see if I can go an entire day without being bothered once. Yesterday it almost happened, but my wife and I cut it close between a movie ending and a dinner reservation, and I felt bothered by the movie taking so long to end, hah. This probably also had to do with the fact that I was the one who miscalculated the timing - some shame was likely involved. But really, it didn’t matter at all. All the bothered feeling provided was a reduced enjoyment of the final 30 or so minutes of the movie (Licorice Pizza).

Maybe today I won’t be bothered once.

To paraphrase the words of Shantideva:

INSTEAD OF TRYING TO
COVER THE WORLD WITH LEATHER,

PUT ON SOME SANDALS.

A full day

without being bothered

once.


Maybe that would be

a perfect day.

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